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October 05 lovers and dreamersWere it not for the Mid-autumn I wouldn't even set foot in the west lake park, where I observed this simple incident.
As I approached the wooden deck stretching out over the lake, I saw this couple holding a wishing lantern (许愿灯) and waiting for it to start rising. The core fire is heating up the air inside the lantern the same way a hot air balloon works. As a protection for the nearby hotels and shops against fire danger the police had been going around the lake catching people who tried to launch a wishing lantern. But there they were, still trying relentlessly. The gal said that they had been chased away many times by guards. I then noticed there were a number of kind hearted strangers standing around the couple and scouting for incoming policeman...
After an extremely elongated five-min wait, the lantern started to fly. The gal cheered, the crowd clapped, but all too quickly dispersed into the night before the patrol could arrive.
![]() I followed this beautiful thing. It rose into the dark and became disguised among the moon and stars. I then realised just how many wishing lanterns were already there, across the sky with the full moon and silvering clouds as their backdrop, each escaped with glowing hopes for lovers, and dreamers and spelt them out into the stary night... I felt love.
![]() ![]() I could almost tell we should have a designated setback space next to the lake just for launching wishing lantern every year... Things like this was perhaps overlooked when Hangzhou outsourced her urban design decade ago... But there are things which make us all so chinese. Our homeland should at least make room for them. And when I realised that I am actually going to be part of it, part of the building industry for my very own hometown, as a proud chinese, I felt grateful. It's going to be way better around here.
for lovers and dreamers. for everyone.
August 22 Capitaland It's been three months with talks totting up to almost 5 hours and pretty taxing online tests. all worth the while i guess. finally got the offer from capitaland. once again, it's people. if anyone would think that i have been doing well it's because i've got the rite people helping me at the rite time... it is a fortune to meet someone who knows how to read you; and better still, who knows how to lead you. i would then move forward with such gratefulness that makes me stronger and be ready to meet them again... May 22 (转帖) 酸酸草之哲学论大凡学哲学的人,都会沉浸于一些人生最根本最基本的问题,被思辩的重重矛盾所折磨,发出一些震撼人心的质问与呐喊,比如:今天晚上谁做饭? 谁去洗衣服,又是谁去洗碗? 明天去超市买什幺,头顶的星空还是内心的道德法则? 这些问题,把我们引向更高更远的境界,使人深邃、使人厚重,慢慢地变得像真的一样。 谈到买头顶的星空还是买内心的道德法则,本质上就是一个选择问题。有的喜欢买一斤星空炒个空心菜,有的喜欢称二两道德法则发点海蜇皮,都是一般 的市民,资源总是稀缺的,永远符合经济学的基本假设,并向经济学家们提供持久与充沛的职业安全感。资源有限,就需要选择;资源太多了,其实更加需要选择。 世间的事都大抵如此。不是这个,就是那个;不是to be,就是 not to be 。人生的过程,从某种意义上来说,就是一连串选择的过程,环环紧扣,滚滚向前,有去无回。 To be,or not to be?哈姆雷特,这个忧郁敏感的瑞典王子,牙疼般地喃喃自语。 一千种场景就有一千个哈姆雷特,买还是不买?卖还是不卖?嫁还是不嫁?娶还是不娶?要还是不要?说还是不说?杀还是不杀?偷还是不偷?逃还是不逃?留还是不留?——每一个人,注定在有生之日的每一天,都反反复复永无止境地经历着这样的质问,无奈地喃喃自语。 如果这些喃喃自语在一瞬间同时迸发出来,那就简直是狂风万里、雷霆咆哮。就像歌手何勇深深吸入一口北京大街小巷的滚滚废话,走上舞台,呼出一声怒吼:"吃了吗?" 我相信,《哈姆雷特》之所以能久盛不衰、红遍全球,就是因为它道出了全世界人民的心声。每个人的心中都埋伏着一个哈姆雷特,优柔寡断、朝三暮四、瞻前顾后、心猿意马,被日常生活的N个选择折磨得心力交瘁。 选择的过程就是放弃的过程,选择一种可能性,等同于放弃了其它的可能性。这一逻辑带来了一种巨大的困境:选择越多,失去越多,后悔越多,痛苦越 多,就像泰伦斯所描绘的"我周围都是洞,到处都止不住地在流失"的状态。电影《海上钢琴师》中的琴师1900选择终生留在船上,没有走下甲板哪怕一小步, 哪怕是为了一生中唯一的一次恋爱,因为"钢琴有88个琴键,它是有限的,我能用有限的琴键奏出无限的音乐。但是城市的街道却有千条万条。"这种没有尽头的 太多的选择让他恐惧。2002年诺贝尔经济学奖得主Dianiel Kahneman的研究表明:失去100元钱带来的痛苦,远远大于得到100元钱带来的满足。可能得到什么的希望,根本无法安慰和抚平可能失去什么的不 安。我们以为增加资源、改善处境,就能减少原来无从选择的痛苦,就能增加幸福。结果却恰恰相反。一如所罗门王古老的感叹:积累知识就是积累悲哀。增加选择 实际上也等于增加悲哀。 对于具有批评精神的选择者来说,每一种选择都有饱满欲滴的后悔理由:做弱者,多不得好活;做强者,多不得好死。做名人,无法过自己的生活;做平民,无法过别人的生活。做男人,寿命短;做女人,青春短。何勇也又唱道:"交个女朋友 ,还是养条狗。" 塞涅卡说:如果对方比你弱,就饶了他;如果它比你强,你就饶了自己吧。我们在难以选择的时候,也有几种饶了自己的办法: 一是把选择的权利交给别人。为了缓解选择的痛苦,我们设立了一些疏导机制,比如创设了领导这样一种东西。领导不能吃、不能穿、也不能随便睡,它 的用途就是帮助我们选择。聪明而富有智能的人永远是有的,但聪明人往往太容易看清每一种选择的荒诞本性和每一种选择之后的艰难处境,所以他们可能比一般人 更加不愿意作出选择。于是,我们需要委托一些不太聪明、比较固执、略为有些愚钝和麻木的人来担任领导,把选择的麻烦差事交给他们。然后,无论他们做出什么 选择,我们都一方面可以享受这种选择带来的好处,另一方面可以痛快淋漓地论证与指出这种选择的坏处。由于领导的存在,我们既实现了选择,又避免了选择的压 力,而且可以证明自己总是对的。一举三得,一枪三鸟,不亦乐乎。这一方式另外也常见于女性对男友或丈夫的应对策略,把决策权交给男人,同时自己保留永远的 批评权。 二是不选择。不选择本身也是一种选择。在战场上,无论你做什么,包括什么也不做,你都可能中弹。和其它的选择一样,不选择这样一种选择,也有高 层次与低层次的区别,虽然看上去很相似,走在最前面的和落在最后面的都是孤独的。低层次的不选择是把自己放到纯粹的概率之中;较高层次的不选择,是对已经 不可避免的选择的坦然接受;最高层次的不选择,则意味着你已经跳出了原有的小选择的规则之外,跳到了另一个大选择的平台——你让我在刀剑棍棒之中选择,我 不选,因为我已经有了枪;你让我在机枪步枪手枪冲锋枪之中选择,我不选,因为我已经有了导弹。有些人一辈子聪明伶俐,在所有的选择中从不吃亏,但最后往往 发现,自己已经被对手远远拋下,因为他一直只是在关注同一个层面的选择。在政治和军事的较量中,更是如此。就像美国和越南的战争,美国几乎打嬴了所有的战 斗,但是输掉的却是整个战争。 三是随便选择一个。拋一个硬币,正反的机会各有一半,如果你此时为选择正面还是反面而苦苦思索、苦苦选择,想破了脑袋、想穿了肚肠,似乎有些搞 笑,但这确实就是广大群众日常烦恼的主要品种。绝大多数的选择,多属信息不完整选择,你举十个支持理由,我说出十个反对理由,都像到菜场买菜那么容易,于 是双方就在脑袋里大打出手,甚至变成了大规模群殴。对于这一类选择,想一两遍和想一两千遍的结果并不会有实质性的区别。这时,如何选择反而比选择什么更加 重要。尤其对那些生活事业中所谓的关键选择,"随便选一个"更是真谛所在,因为它们最终的结果,根本不是你选出来的,而是你选择以后做出来的。阿东的漫画 上写着:"好女人常对我们说:别胡来;坏女人常对我们说:怕什么。不管是好女人说的还是坏女人说的,都是我们这样的坏蛋百听不厌的。"随便哪个,都真好。 一件非常有趣的事情在于:只要决定了某一种选择,从长远来看,任何选择总是对的。一旦选择成为事实,它就会进而产生一系列的事实,最后这些事实 就铺天盖地完全笼罩你,并且使你自己也成为事实的一个组成部分,你不可能再去否定它,因为否定它等于否定你自己。汽车靠左行使还是靠右行使?都有各自的道 理。但一旦决定了,逐渐地,车辆规格、道路设置、交通设施、法规制度、行为习俗......都会依据这一决定而成为存在的事实。这时候,再去讨论到底应该 左行还是右行,就已经没有任何意义了。也就是说,无论当时选择左行还是选择右行,若干年之后后,都是对的。我们可以以诗意的心态去欣赏茨威格的《人类群星 闪耀时——决定人类历史的10个瞬间》这样的故事,感叹历史的命运怎样地差之毫厘、谬以千里。但是,假如你真的能改变历史,能作出一些你认为更加合理的调 整,代价是:你现在的生活马上消失,你被投入陌生的民族、陌生的语言、陌生的气候、陌生的习俗、陌生的文化和法律......相信没有人会愿意。 写到这里,看到电视里正在播放《百万富翁》的有奖问答节目,非常显然,它的卖点绝不在那些普遍比较愚蠢的问题和答案,而是参与者不得不去选择的 充满压力和痛苦的过程。绝大多数的参赛者都像冲过一片开阔地的士兵那样,或早或晚地倒在了冲锋途中的某一个地方,观众们旁观着这种持续的痛苦和死亡,并且 为自己同样的处境而深感敬畏。从这种意义上来说,《百万富翁》节目和《哈姆雷特》一样,属于经典的悲剧,效用都在于通过展示无可避免的失败从而升华我们的 情感。当然它也会在极其偶然的情况下演出失误,因为某个参赛者的最后成功可能无奈地堕落为喜剧。 May 15 A recent understanding... The ins and outs of PR is like a war. There are factions painted red, others are painted green or blue. But the essence of it is not abt which faction has more power or influence. Just like war isn't won by weapons at all. The wisdom was written down centuries ago. Few bothered to look into it. Yet the truth remains that the winner always has a better understanding of the concept of 'agent'. Agent is a very interesting type of organism that exists everywhere in any body of organisation. The cheapest of which are turned, the averages are terminated, the very best are shared. Therefore, it would be foolish to judge things just by the colour of the war paint. May 07 Post Thesis Checklist Things I must do: 1. steamboat 2. ktv 3. join a competition if i can 4. write a song 5. do a dance 6. get a job 7. buy nice clothes 8. practice translation The Riba Day I wonder which one is more of a drop... a straight forward 'move on' or a sugarcoated reason... When someone special just let it all hang out n level with you. I was just reminded of the old sleepfest days when nothing else really mattered. The only thing I looked forward to was the 40 white, drinking n mumbling 'it'd all get better'... and that was not even close to the real thing. I would say I'd-been-there maybe just for a ticket to talk. But really, there is just so little I could do to make things any easier. Sitting there wondering how to help really made me feel like an airhead somehow. Still, I'd bet my bottom dollar that someone really got to do well this year. To think just how rare anyone could win my admiration at all... Strangely I couldn't feel worse when the oh-so-lost shit started to flood the air... In no time people are going to realise just how absobloodylutely right this turn is. Hell yeah, moving on is the easy part, better make sure it's take-off n fly. Freaking deserve more awesomness. Crit was rewarding. I mean I did my best, no regret and one level higher. It was a wonder that I tackled those questions when my head was still hurting like a live wire baby kisser... Seriously I have no idea why I am so concerned with someone else's life... The rest of the 40 something people are going for crit. Firus, Zhang, Weilin, Earnest bla bla bla asked for informations about the panel... Well everyone was civilised and fun except this asian guy sitting to the extreme right. He made a comment that really stunned me. He first asked me if I m from China. Then he said something like 'Please don't think this is China, where you always do those big things... Over here we actually are thankful that we have those drains and canals to separate the space...' I was like... *&^^%$#@#!????? My project is just freaking 2000 square metres and it is classified as 'big'... and what with all those shit about which country I came from. I freaking stayed on this island for almost a decade if anything I'd be dropping my jaw too when I see the sheer size of the projects back in my hometown. I seriously doubt which one of us is actually more Singaporean as far as Holland V is concerned. But that's not the point, the main prob is that this guy seems to have a prob with my country for no intelligent reasons. It's funny to think about it that things started to nudge your head just when u thought your life is getting a little boring... I guess that's what makes us all human. Maybe I m also hoping to be someone for someone or something, maybe i m just hoping for all those for myself. There is no way to know for sure n it ain't matter in the end. A man only needs to do what needs to be done. That's the best part, isn't it. April 30 Missing Hell In the home stretch of the thesis thingie life is getting really much more fun.Yet it's as if I am suffering a withdrawal syndrom from the two-week studio life. Used to think my housemates were getting a little softer in the heads when they said they missed studio. Now I finally got to join the club. Come to think about it, I even had better sleep with dirts on that piece of cardboard than in my bed with all the good distractions in my room. Mel's probably already changed her bedsheet cos I unknowingly sat on its edge before. Going back to an empty studio is just awkward, without the possibility to yank Firus around or harass Dennis or engage in some really over the top smart-guy-only talks with Wykeith. The studio is the place where we really get down with some good music or youtube and comfortably get things going on our panels. It was as if all those sounds and images exist just for the production and you don't see us peruse them that often after submission no more...Such a routine is really powerful. It makes me feel lost at some point wondering if I could find another reason to just go back to that haven again... The sad truth is that I am no student no more after three weeks. Can't believe that I am actually not celebrating... April 25 Thesis Productionused to be knee-deep in troubles laying down in shit a stack of bibles paved my path to faith work into a lather swim like a queer fish fly like a pink pig sky is the limit illegal com user laser Q jumper under-the-table squarter nightmare day dreamer steam me up the spirit drive you up the wall when it's all over I just wanna pin up my work April 08 Design meI guess Hee is right... The fact that she was keeping fairly neutral towards what I am doing now in fact could help me the most. In the end what shines is till who you are as a designer. When I've accepted the fact that no one else could help me better than myself, I began to sense some fairly sensible solutions and emerging rigors. I love the feeling of knowing that I am being myself. That seems to be the basis for any composition at all... just hope this feeling can stay with me through the last lap. |
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